Penises are great for so many things. Peeing. Dressing up in little costumes. Stirring one’s tea. Impromptu water gun. (My sister still hasn’t forgiven me for that one.) Oh, and I almost forgot, that other thing humans like to do.

Yet scientists studying the insect world have recently discovered an entirely new use for a penis: weapon of self-defense. Bear with me now. It turns out male mason wasps, who don’t have stingers, nonetheless use their penis to jab potential predators. They have spines protruding from each side. (Be thankful you’re not a wasp, ladies.)

In one study, they de-emasculated some male wasps and put them in tanks with wasp-eating tree frogs, because that’s the type of fun you get to have if you’re a scientists. All 17 wasps without genitalia fell victim to the frogs. But 35% of the intact male wasps were able to escape predation by using their penis pokes to convince the frog to spit them out. There’s so many potential jokes there, but I’ll refrain. Feel free to make up your own.

Eighty-five percent of female wasps also escaped predation, because apparently, girls are more sensible than boys. That, and the fact that female wasps do have stingers, which helps them out immensely.

“This study highlights the significance of male genitalia as an antipredator defense and opens a new perspective for understanding the ecological role of male genitalia in animals,” says ecologist

1. Grace Van Deelan, “Wasp defense,” Scientific American, March 2023, p. 17