“Giving gifts is universal, because there is something inside the human psyche that says if you love someone, you will give to him or her. What many people do not understand is that for some people, receiving gifts is their primary love language. It’s the thing that makes them feel loved most deeply.”
– Gary Chapman (2005, p. 101)

For a person with this love style, gifts aren’t just things or possessions: they are a sign of how much you care. Gifts have been seen as an expression of love throughout every culture in human history, suggesting that this desire is fairly universal. Some people, however, reside on the extreme end of this spectrum and find it hard to feel loved without them. Unfortunately, there are also many people out there who have come to see gift giving as superficial; a commercial gesture that doesn’t actually mean anything. If these two ideals clash within a relationship, there is going to be fallout.

Signs that your partner needs gifts in order to feel loved and appreciated:

1.    She tells you outright: “How come you never buy me anything?” or drops hints by telling you stories about the flowers or jewelry her friends received from their spouses.

2.    They attach great sentimental value to objects and can tell you where they were or what they were doing when they obtained something.

3.    After a trip, he or she makes a statement along the lines of, “You were away all this time and you didn’t even get me anything? Didn’t you even think of me while you were gone?”

4.    They seem to take great care in giving gifts to others, taking a lot of time to “pick out the perfect gift” and obsessing about what the other person will think of it.

Pleasing the gift-oriented partner

These gifts needn’t be expensive. This is a situation where it truly is the thought that counts. It’s the gesture of giving and the amount of thought put into it more than the gift itself that this person cares about.

1.    Pick some flowers on the way home and present them to your lover, saying “their beauty reminded me of you.”

2.    Make homemade crafts to present her with.

3.    Leave a little piece of chocolate on their pillow or on the kitchen table along with a brief love note.

4.    Make sure that you are marking special occasions (birthday’s, anniversaries, etc.) with some sort of gift.

5.    If you’re on a business trip, pick out some little souvenir or trinket that you think she might like and then send it home or present her with it upon your return. Also send at least one letter during your trip. It doesn’t matter if you’ll make it home before the letter does. Send something anyway.