Psychotherapist Robert Lawrence Friedman, president of Stress Solu-
tions, a New York Training and consulting firm, recommends people
go through a series of steps to manage a stressful situation.

1.    Put on the brakes by thinking the word “stop” or even saying it aloud.

2.    Take a deep breath and focus on what you’re thinking about. Somebody cut you off in traffic? Ask yourself what specifically causes you to feel stress over that … is it the insensitivity? The chaos?

3.    Consciously replace these angry and fearful thoughts with positive,
rational thoughts. For example, you might tell yourself: Apparently making that turn was awfully important to him … more important than driving safely. But you know what? I’m fine, so who cares?

For those who prefer acronyms, there’s the stop acronym for managing stress:

Stop
Stop what you’re doing for a moment. Put things down if you have to.

Take some breaths
Take a few deep breaths. Consciously pay attention as you breathe in and out several times. This will interrupt the stress response that is occurring in your body. If you’d like to go into some of the focused breathing techniques outlined elsewhere, you can, but the important thing is to simply pay attention.

Observe
Without judgment, focus on your current thoughts or situation, and take
a look at what is causing your current stress. Try to approach it with the
curiosity of a child, interested to learn about how the world works. What emotions are you feeling? Name each one specifically. Research shows this alone can loosen their grip on us. Ask yourself: Where is this stress originating from? Why is it bothering me so much?

Proceed
The next step is to proceed with a plan of action. This could be finding
a way to remove yourself from the stressful situation, devising a plan to
manage it, or simply deciding to think about it differently in a way that
doesn’t affect you as much. For example, you might decide to leave the
room and take a short walk. You could rub your hand or shoulders or
decide to continue focusing on your breathing. Or you could tell yourself not to worry so much, or remind yourself that this jerk who just cut you off in traffic may have other issues in his life he’s dealing with.