“Prevention – doing things such as planning your day or year and
trying to avoid stressors before they can affect you…is by far the
most helpful competency when it comes to managing your stress.”
– Psychologist Robert Epstein

Most people assume that there is little that can be done about the stress that exists in their lives. Nothing is farther from the truth. There are 2 big ways we can prevent stress:

1.    Avoiding situations that stress us out.

2.    Becoming consciously aware of our stress, so that we control it
rather than letting it control us. By not allowing ourselves to be stressed out because of unrealistic expectations or during times when it serves no purpose, we can prevent a lot of stress we otherwise might have experienced.

The first step in stress prevention: Keep a stress journal

The first step in stress prevention is to keep a stress journal for 2 weeks. This probably sounds like more stressful homework to you, but it’s absolutely necessary if you’re serious about stress prevention. In the same way that dieters get a more accurate view of their calorie intake when they record what they eat as opposed to guestimating based on memory, keeping track of the times you feel stressed and what triggers it will give you far more accurate picture of your overall stress load, and is bound to reveal a number of things you otherwise may not have considered.

Purchase a small pocket notebook you can carry around, and create an entry each time you start to feel stressed or anxious. Each entry should include:

A)    Time of day

B)    Trigger (What happened & with whom, even if it’s just that a stressful thought popped into your head)

C)    What you were doing at the time

D)    The feelings it stirs (Helpless? Anxious? Angry? Irritated? Does it stir up other sources of contention in your mind that sets off a cascade of other negative thoughts? If so, what are they?)

These entries needn’t be extensive or complex, just a quick summary or short paragraph that covers these topics. And don’t try to do this while you’re driving; wait until you get where you’re going, and then record an incident. After the 2 weeks or so of tracking your stress like this, sit down to analyze what you’ve recorded:

A)    Look for recurring patterns of stress. Are there certain times or certain activities which seem to trigger stress?

B)    Does this stress revolve around realistic or unrealistic expectations about how the World should work?

C)    Could I have avoided it? Walked away? Altered my behavior or my thinking in a way that made the incident less stressful?

Catch yourself in the act

There’s a moment after something triggers your stress, perhaps no more than a nanosecond or two, when you have to decide whether or not you’re going to blow up over something or walk away and let it subside. Learn to recognize this moment and redirect your response.